Chronic Illness, University, and the Good Life

00:00:10: Welcome

00:00:10: to today's episode of Chances and Challenges,

00:00:13: the BGHS

00:00:14: podcast.

00:00:15: I'm your host Sabine Schäfer.

00:00:17: Today we're talking about a big challenge doing a PhD in working at university with chronic illness.

00:00:24: This topic sometimes seems to be bit of taboo.

00:00:27: Personal achievements are what counts in academia And thus it seem that researchers have function perfectly all time reach these achievement.

00:00:36: Admitting to have a chronic illness doesn't fit this idea very well.

00:00:40: Yet, there are people among us who have overcome the obstacle and all that follows And one of them is Clara Buittrago Who's here with me today.

00:00:49: Dear Clara I'm happy you're here.

00:00:51: Hi Savini Thankyou for your invitation!

00:00:53: I am glad to be talking about this topic.

00:00:56: Clara was born in Colombia and studied in Spain.

00:00:59: She holds bachelor degree in social work and two masters degrees one in social anthropology and the other in Latin American studies.

00:01:07: In October, two thousand thirteen she started her PhD in The Faculty of Sociology here at Bielefeld University and also in the BGHS And completed it in two thousand nineteen.

00:01:18: This dissertation was about Guatemala an independent Pentecostal leaders working in Los Angeles.

00:01:24: during our PhD She worked as a research associate in a large research project At the center of inter-American Studies for some years and later on this is in the CS office Since two thousand twenty.

00:01:35: she's the coordinator of internationalization here at The BGHS.

00:01:39: Clara it has been some years now since you have been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis.

00:01:44: How does it feel to live with this today?

00:01:46: To be honest my life is going great right now.

00:01:50: In many ways, I think this is thanks to multiple sclorosis before that diagnosis.

00:01:57: I spent years constantly ill without answers which was incredible hard but That diagnosis became a life altering moment that finally gave me the medical care and clarity I needed.

00:02:11: And it also forced to listen to my body, prioritized by truly matters!

00:02:17: So today ten years after this moment was really tough.

00:02:22: i had built high quality lives with much deeper balance than before.

00:02:29: And what was the situation like when you were diagnosed with MS?

00:02:33: Well, at that moment it was hard because I'd been in hospital and of course very sick.

00:02:39: so after doing three years in my dissertation i got a severe relapse that ended up being in the hospital and precisely at this point it's really tough as I wanted to finish But my body was not answering the way that I expected.

00:02:58: And when they said, and then I have multiple sclerosis... ...and didn't know so much about the disease....I was in panic!

00:03:07: Oh my God what is going to be with me?

00:03:09: My

00:03:09: life?!

00:03:10: I'm gonna end it last year on a wheelchair?

00:03:13: or what's going to happen with

00:03:15: me??

00:03:16: But after all of this, It was an altering moment, as I already said.

00:03:23: Because they start giving me information about the disease and all these things that i was having in last years when it's constantly ill.

00:03:32: going to different doctors asking for answers made sense!

00:03:37: And then...I say wow this is a good thing so not bad.

00:03:42: So you finally got clarity and result?

00:03:48: At least You know, when you are suffering so many years a kind of something like disease.

00:03:54: but nobody's give you questions.

00:03:57: Sometimes you assume that your the problem and it is not positive.

00:04:03: But once I know about multiple sclerosis And they also gave me a lot information... ...I understand that It was under my control Something i have to let go or learn to live with and do my best to improve my life.

00:04:21: Precisely because it's something serious that I have to take into consideration, also need pay attention on what are my needs at the same time?

00:04:31: What is my

00:04:32: limitations?".

00:04:34: And start living in accordance with this.

00:04:36: Can you tell us a bit more about the symptoms you had?

00:04:40: So...I guess It wasn't very clear!

00:04:43: Well yes so i can say having these kind of problems was when I was twenty three and it was diagnosed, when i was about thirty-three.

00:04:53: so this a lot of times or more than i think supposedly ten years suffering.

00:04:58: So...and It depends in which moment we are talking to This is that especially with multiple sperosins We're going to say MS because its easy remember?

00:05:08: This disease called the disease with thousand phases Because it shows up many different ways It makes it really difficult to diagnose what was happening.

00:05:19: So when I was very young, After doing something that was hard and stressful.

00:05:26: I couldn't feel my leg or i could not feel My hand, or something like That in other moments it Was that?

00:05:33: I wake up In the morning And i was having double visions.

00:05:36: okay The doctor and they say well this is normal.

00:05:39: so and then It was about Having a lot of pain.

00:05:42: So today it's paining the back Then next week spainting them in the hip.

00:05:47: then he's Painning my leg and i went to see the doctors and suggest that I could have gluten from my diet, improve and because of the pain they say well maybe you need regular massage to reduce that.

00:06:02: And also practice body training when i start doing yoga!

00:06:07: These things at this moment worked and I improved.

00:06:11: And i also have this love for academia, well...I am improving!

00:06:16: I would like to continue doing my PhD and applied then got the funding working in CS and Center for Inter-American Studies.

00:06:23: For me it was something very good because I'm from Latin America topics and especially religion, we were changing the scapes there.

00:06:34: And it was like a dream that turned reality...and I said well but right now i'm doing well!

00:06:40: I am having this gluten-free diet and I am improving and going to have the massage and practice yoga.

00:06:47: But unfortunately when I came here to Bielefeld It also very stressful because..I didn't know that is so difficult an apartment or a place to live here and I was looking for apartments, waiting in the apartment more than three months.

00:07:04: It's also very difficult!

00:07:06: And i'm trying to learn how to drive which is

00:07:09: impossible

00:07:10: because it was so stressful...and then put down that this stress starting again alone.

00:07:17: but after I got settled the time and the possibilities for good routines, continue with my gluten-free diet exercising every day.

00:07:30: And I got that.

00:07:31: but unfortunately and at that moment I remembered, but i went to see the doctor.

00:07:40: And he said oh well... The thing is right now we are in a flu movement!

00:07:46: This flu.

00:07:46: it's exactly the same symptomatology you're having because I had this doppelgangen and also have pain and these neurological issues about not feeling my hand or something.

00:07:58: No..This is that!

00:08:00: This is the flu.

00:08:00: ..I'm patient with the same symptoms.

00:08:04: It was not the flu.

00:08:05: Yeah, it was a relapse but he couldn't figure out what's wrong.

00:08:10: and then okay well I still work in my dissertation.

00:08:13: so i went to field war icon icon that interviews in watermelon in LA And...it was this discomfort So these kind of things.

00:08:24: you know That..I was very tired A kind of fatigue just like to sleep I don't know how many days and maybe i'm going to be much better but it was very difficult that I went for a trip with my boyfriend.

00:08:42: It was in Tanzania and i ended there very bad we have to came Germany, very in a hurry And I went into the hospital because at that moment it really wasn't good.

00:08:55: My condition so...I couldn´t feel my hand and also my face was blocked.

00:09:02: And when I was in the hospital, it was also very funny because people would say well but you are having all these problems for so many years.

00:09:10: So why don't stop?

00:09:14: You tried!

00:09:16: But... I have a life to some extent.

00:09:20: And then they told me about the disease, MS and said that okay but... They were also very positive because they say right now there is a lot of research on these diseases.

00:09:31: There are different treatments too.

00:09:35: so I'm really happy Because after many years without answers funding this medical team was very positive.

00:09:45: We're all professional.

00:09:47: give me something that in a few moments I realized my life was improving.

00:09:56: Yeah, but after you had done your fieldwork and went to Guatemala

00:10:07: especially for the woman because Guatemala is a quite dangerous country.

00:10:14: But it was also an experience, sometimes when we are talking or listening about Latin America We think that's very dangerous.

00:10:23: It's dangerous but people there and they're friendly wanted to support me, give my support and be friendly.

00:10:31: They didn't reject or let me alone by sight so it was

00:10:36: very possible

00:10:37: but also far away.

00:10:40: maybe right now I will say if i were conscious about the illness at that moment no way.

00:10:49: But at that moment, I didn't know about it.

00:10:51: You told us now some things how you coped with this situation during the PhD but... How did your move on then when you had the diagnosis?

00:11:02: You'd have done a fieldwork so we had to write the dissertation.. ..but i guess It wasn't like if you get the diagnosis or treatment and everything is fine from there right?

00:11:13: No well after the diagnose eight weeks where I worked very hard because i went in the hospital for two weeks and they put a lot of medication on my body.

00:11:23: And then,I need some time to recover from these

00:11:27: things."And

00:11:28: Then I start with medications.

00:11:30: but something positive.

00:11:31: it was that precisely Because I am going to start with a medication That is going to be hard.

00:11:36: They suggested me follow as a journal when I have to take note how I feel In different moments And also what is happening in my surroundings.

00:11:47: As I said before, there are a lot of treatments but we don't know which one will work for me and this way to have information that says oh these treatment works or it's not working.

00:11:59: so they wanted Conscience of I had improving or I am not improved.

00:12:04: and it was very positive because at the beginning having this diary This journal all something like okay.

00:12:10: Well, I have to write how I feel right now Every couple hours on is something that you are did.

00:12:15: You're not a custom?

00:12:16: Yeah

00:12:20: But after that i'd realize in The mornings I'm very good but if the afternoon's It's Not so In That way.

00:12:27: And I think, well if this isn't that way i'm going to try and use it at the time.

00:12:31: At that moment was a kind of necessity because as I said before in my dissertation for three years... It's something that is not going to give up.

00:12:43: so If you have all interviews already analysed all these data and I had enough literature review Why are you going to give up?

00:12:54: So maybe it's only a couple of months more doing the research and I can finish.

00:13:00: And something positive at that moment was also, so then i got more funding for the university!

00:13:05: It is also positive because well... Maybe I'm going to finish Because after I finished ,I am gonna have degree in Germany.

00:13:13: This will open me more doors At that moment when I am doing these things and realized at the mornings, it was a necessity.

00:13:22: This is time where i'm going to work in my dissertation And on next part of day, relax or do other thing because this what right now my body is asking for.

00:13:32: So then When I accustomed to medication and understand how life without relapse or inflammation is your brain It's very nice.

00:13:46: Oh, wow.

00:13:47: It's really nice!

00:13:47: I didn't like it.

00:13:48: Wow this recovery moment was oh wow... It is nice and i liked it.

00:13:56: I also continue with this routine because it was working very well.

00:14:00: So and i say, Well... to relax, go

00:14:08: for

00:14:09: a walk or sleep.

00:14:18: Ciestas are very famous in Spain and Latin America.

00:14:30: Ciesta is important for me because I only live twenty minutes every day when i arrive home although my energy is not to be very fit things because I know that there's something that i also need to go to the supermarket or to spend with my friends, with my loved ones and it is something that also gives me a high quality.

00:14:57: Because this important thing right now

00:15:00: yeah so you organize your day according to what your body tells more or less.

00:15:05: I try to do it and some students are very successful.

00:15:08: so, yeah It's also a kind of learning how you manage your time according the priorities.

00:15:14: And right now as i can say my priority is in health.

00:15:18: So i don't want be sick because i was sick before the diagnosis.

00:15:25: It was not a nice life, it was a lot of suffering

00:15:28: there.

00:15:28: And I don't want you to be ill as well.

00:15:30: so we need you here in the BGHS!

00:15:33: So its important that your stay healthy?

00:15:37: That's another question... What impact has the illness on your professional lives?

00:15:43: Well they have big impacts to some extent when i say that i wanted to continue with my PhD because But then when I was doing, it was something how to say personal and also in relation with my health.

00:16:02: So during the PhD especially here in Germany showed me that probably my character is not so aligned.

00:16:10: being a professor first because i like spend time with people...I am very good at solving problems but Being alone, reading and reading is not the kind of light that I wanted.

00:16:22: On the other hand... ...I also have been here in the BGGs talking with people who were finishing up asking for a position as a professor or something like this.

00:16:33: That was complicated because they said well the tenure here at Germany it's quite brutal.

00:16:39: first

00:16:40: Something in these systems The important thing to show.

00:16:45: you can move places, cities or countries and then you'll be during this time.

00:16:53: You are counting in short term contracts with these.

00:16:57: to some extent something stressful for me was very stressful because it's something like I analysis.

00:17:04: first i was very grateful With the medical team that they have here at Bielefeld And is something not really easy.

00:17:12: Well, it is not really easy to go other city and ask for an appointment with a neurologist.

00:17:17: Maybe they are going into consideration but know that you're in another team.

00:17:24: maybe don't think this the best solution.

00:17:28: It could be very complicated and well it's not the best thing.

00:17:33: And also this moving other, so pendulum because I wanted to still here in Bielefeld was not an option Because is going be very stressful and i need to rest.

00:17:43: So for me as a priority I want stay here at Bielefel.

00:17:46: then I love academia.

00:17:47: It will be really nice if are working on academic environment.

00:17:52: And it was like a how to say lucky thing because working in this project, in CS I still have funding.

00:17:59: Because of...I was ready.

00:18:01: but when you submit and we had time for preparing your defense and then one item held here doing things from the management at that moment there were necessities.

00:18:14: And then it was quite a surprise because something that people think, how to say boring.

00:18:21: It's very easy for me and I really love it.

00:18:23: so doing this kind of thing with the finance It was really easy for me.

00:18:31: So administration

00:18:32: issues?

00:18:32: Yeah, yeah.

00:18:34: Was good and I learned a lot.

00:18:35: And then i got the opportunity to do training in finance and all that.

00:18:39: it wasn't new thing because I am very curious person something very different... And they gave me a lot of how-to say emotions.

00:18:46: Oh!

00:18:46: I would try

00:18:47: this!!

00:18:48: And Then The Person That Was There Decided To Move To Other Place To Another Job And I Got The Position In Seas When It Was And I Learned A Lot There.

00:18:57: I'm Also Very Grateful Because Of That and then it was possible to find the position at the BJG's, I'm very happy right now.

00:19:04: And i like that.

00:19:05: so in my case as said before It wasn't only about health but also personal things.

00:19:10: So when we were doing my dissertation...I have this feeling.

00:19:14: what a difficult thing.

00:19:16: But when I was starting doing things in management and these administrative thing for me, it was like playing.

00:19:22: It's a lot of joy!

00:19:24: Maybe i'm crazy person but I liked that.

00:19:26: And well...I am going to continue doing this Especially working here at the University in the BJJs in Aqours.

00:19:32: International Atmosphere is also very positive because I can identify.

00:19:37: You know?

00:19:38: I am someone who finished my PhD Here..but all my studies were abroad.

00:19:45: that people are facing.

00:19:47: And I think because they have this personal experience, and to some extent was very successful... ...I can help people do it!

00:19:55: And i hope that I can do in a way Yeah

00:19:58: yeah.. I mean .. I cherish that alot ,i must say Because those experiences is what I don't have.

00:20:05: It's important for these experiences also bodily with your body, because we are all bodies as well.

00:20:14: Not only minds but also bodies.

00:20:16: and to move with you're body into a different place I don't mean from let's say Bielefeldt or Münster ,but form Spain of Columbia to Europe.

00:20:27: so this is really an experience that i dont have .

00:20:31: And i also do not the experience on chronic illness.

00:20:35: So it find its important for me here very special experiences you bring.

00:20:44: So I think this is a great coincidence!

00:20:47: Yes,

00:20:48: thank-you.

00:20:49: and also these two aspects that we mentioned are for me very important because, it was a possibility to develop a kind of mission when I am doing my work and something that really is not an award.

00:21:04: So coming here every Mondays or Tuesdays what i'm doing... My work at the university?

00:21:11: And I´m happy to come in!

00:21:12: Because you know..I can do something helpful!

00:21:14: It's good!

00:21:16: Especially right now.

00:21:17: we're on this time bad things are happening, so many conflicts wars and all these things.

00:21:24: I still believe that one of the ways we can change this world is about education And i know for international people they have completed a PhD here in Germany.

00:21:35: it's going to be something positive as my case.

00:21:39: im sure alot of doors will open when they finish or even if they don't finish their experience being here learning other languages The issues that they have to do is also a learning.

00:21:52: That it's going to be useful when they have two looking for the job.

00:21:56: Yeah, and I'm sure Precisely, because they are learning something that we learn when although We Are Not Conscious About That When We Are Doing Our PhDs Is That We Learn A Way To Reflect.

00:22:08: There is No Really Easy.

00:22:09: So And Precisely People With a PhD Or with the Experience of Completing That PhD Have A Lot Of Opportunities In The Market Because They Can Reflect On The Things in Another Level Which Is More How to Say Distance But At The Same Deep

00:22:24: Yeah?

00:22:25: That's Right

00:22:26: And I Think That It'S Positive.

00:22:27: Yeah, I like this point about supporting people as well very much.

00:22:34: really a very pleasant part of our jobs.

00:22:37: But

00:22:37: it's very pleasant anyway, so and also when for me is also where they are moving.

00:22:41: So as I really like that we're finished on this good idea having great notes And all these things is also kind of satisfaction something oh well They have been doing Well

00:22:51: yeah,

00:22:52: and it's also necessary before he said very small thing It was very very small contribution to the world but at least

00:22:58: Yeah Right?

00:22:59: So who supported you?

00:23:01: There is a big difference between the support I received and what i get from people who are very close to me.

00:23:08: So,I would say my partner,my family ,my friends...and my work colleagues.

00:23:13: And what I have seen?

00:23:15: there is immense generosity.

00:23:18: What people know about them, MS has still been quite few and also always with a bad how to say.

00:23:24: why are the people going to die or people who go into me in a world share?

00:23:28: Yeah!

00:23:29: It's gonna be very limited.

00:23:31: of course when you said that i had MS something oh no wow How it comes, oh what a pity!

00:23:38: But then this was very positive because I can see these immense generosity.

00:23:43: so people were helping and doing things for me.

00:23:46: And they really love me.

00:23:50: when you experience that you are loved It's something that i will say wow This is really good.

00:23:59: And especially I would say here at the Wilhelfer University, The support has been truly remarkable.

00:24:04: They provide me with a generous funding to finish my PhD and that needed one-and-a-half year more to finish and they paid for doing it which means the world is special because of this moment.

00:24:15: i was sick but no one knew what's going on.

00:24:18: so...

00:24:18: That program was for people

00:24:24: with disabilities

00:24:25: anyway.

00:24:26: And then when I finish my PhD, uh i've been able to continue working here at the university and also I secure a permanent position here.

00:24:35: so I'm saying that especially here in Bielefeld.

00:24:38: The support is very for me it's very high!

00:24:41: It's something that was thinking about...I don't know how could be if I were in another country or in another university at the moment of diagnosis, because I don't know what kind support they can offer.

00:24:54: And i hope that right now we are having these kinds this unity that are dealing with people who have special needs and disabilities, they're not going to suffer a lot because it's something very important.

00:25:10: It also gives more diversity in our environment here at the university.

00:25:15: so I think people with disability see things from other eyes.

00:25:21: we can bring questions or... solutions to problems that people who are not facing with it, they're very, very blind in some sense.

00:25:31: I think this is important because we continue having these kinds of support and they aren't going to cut those things.

00:25:37: But as i said before... This is about having people close to you And when we interact every day They know us.

00:25:44: Of course

00:25:45: It's normal for them to be supportive.

00:25:48: However, dealing with official institutions like the employment agency or the local government has been much more problematic.

00:25:59: And I think precisely because of that, when you went to see these people it's just a small moment and they are dealing with how many cases?

00:26:07: A thousand cases!

00:26:08: Of course there is this frustrating reality with invisible illnesses I'm going to say very honest.

00:26:21: so if you are not bleeding or in a wheelchair and i don't know how many devices, people often assume that they're not needed at all.

00:26:35: So go look for your luck!

00:26:38: To some extent I find this is quite hard to say.

00:26:42: It's not the best so it can give you an example, a small example and maybe for me it's ineffective but in my opinion that's why i said it here in germany... In my case i got a disability degree which is good as its thirty degrees and i'm okay with that.

00:27:01: but the thing is that in comparison with other countries, I'm not talking about countries outside of the European Union.

00:27:09: In Germany you only receive this disability ID and a card to show your disability.

00:27:18: when you get more than fifty degrees of disability It could be important because they give you discounts for concerts, museums or social and cultural activities.

00:27:31: This discount is only a few but I'm not talking about hundreds of euros Especially in the case of multiple sclerosis and especially because it is an illness that affects your levels or energy.

00:27:43: And you are not so fit as normal people, I think that could be fair.

00:27:49: we can have this kind of discounts Because i am sure that people with MS are not working a hundred percent.

00:27:56: this is maybe a people who can work hundred percent and if I could, i am very happy for them.

00:28:02: really it's not affecting then.

00:28:04: And really happy for that.

00:28:05: but in my case when working part-time these small discounts could mean something anyway.

00:28:11: yeah

00:28:12: as i said before It isn't something that no its happening in colombia or it happens in the states or it happenes in australia.

00:28:18: we have different countries in europe where they receive this kind of card with the disability.

00:28:25: And I think sometimes it is sad to some extent because you have to prove your struggle,

00:28:31: just

00:28:32: be recognized for this system.

00:28:33: and if something that I am saying okay in my case i'm not going to show through a system but I am dying because yeah...I don't want I don't want to be again as before.

00:28:45: Before, i was sick right now and having a good quality life but in some sense this aspect that okay.

00:28:52: so if you want the benefits then it's time for me to show them what they are doing.

00:28:57: The only thing is maybe this kind of lack of empathy isn't necessary Harder than needed.

00:29:10: so especially regarding people with chronic diseases.

00:29:14: Yeah, when we're talking about structural or societal things We have this rule that if you want to fill a position yeah.

00:29:24: So from my side as let's say it's an employer If you want the field position You have two.

00:29:31: be careful When People With Disabilities With A Degree with an admitted disability or chronicle disease, something like that.

00:29:43: When they apply you have to be careful to invite them and not very good reasons.

00:29:52: And so I guess that sometimes this also might be difficult because you might be invited to positions, to interviews.

00:30:01: That you won't get anyway not because your... You have this chronic illness but because you don't fit very well is there?

00:30:10: Well, what can I say?

00:30:12: It's a difficult question anyway.

00:30:14: You know that most part of the occasions you are going to be invited because... Because you put and you manifest it when you're applying That you have a disease.

00:30:25: Yeah And of course always the questions is there Are they inviting me because.. Because i attached this disability document?

00:30:34: Or they are inviting me cause They all interested in me.

00:30:39: So I will say that for a structural point of view, and it's something to some extent well known.

00:30:48: Although the different universities people who are working in public institutions or things also in private sector they have to give work with people with disabilities And reality is right now in Germany.

00:31:05: Better for this kind of people to pay the money that they have to pay because they are not giving their jobs, than having people with disability working there.

00:31:15: And it's a very sad reality.

00:31:17: but as I said before i think that people with disabilities has special way to understand things and we can be also productive.

00:31:26: Unfortunately, in our society it's not about giving new ideas or bringing but being very productive.

00:31:35: In the way that we know how is productive.

00:31:37: so personal achievements and all these things I'm bringing money anyway.

00:31:42: But on the other hand... ...in my experience So when i applied It was always a good interview usually call me later, which I also appreciated to say it was very nice.

00:31:58: To have you in the interview.

00:31:59: we know that You can do the job.

00:32:01: don't take personal.

00:32:02: It wasn't because of your disability.

00:32:04: That way Don't give you the contract.

00:32:06: it is Because other person was better and had more experience than Yeah.

00:32:12: So an insane dad what?

00:32:14: I think my opinion if you are dealing with a with a chronic illness on these things please don't give up because This is something that you have to do.

00:32:24: You need this kind of security That you have this value and people are going to take it for what?

00:32:31: So don't give up.

00:32:33: I say no, I'm not going to go for a job because i know they're Not Going To Give Me Anything.

00:32:38: Yeah

00:32:38: Because I think that I can imagine how People Probably It's Not My Case but I Can Imagine if in A Moment I'm Not Going to be with the energy to work, it could be quite complicated at home dealing only with my problems because they are going bigger and bigger.

00:32:57: I think that having a job is something social.

00:33:00: at the same time It's something that gives you kind of sense not about how your life is going on but also about value and identity And its nice for someone who makes you feel happy.

00:33:12: Yeah.

00:33:13: And I think it really is a very, very important experience to have someone around who says... Think about your priorities for example sometimes the health or let's say family.

00:33:29: Bigger importance, a bigger priority in your life.

00:33:32: Yeah?

00:33:33: So you can't be perfect and everything You do uh...you Can't give hundred one-hundred percent In your PhD at One Hundred Percent in Your Job And then Be in Perfect Health and Do Your Family Business and Everything.

00:33:48: This is simply not possible!

00:33:50: I think it's very important to have people there who say i know what It feels To be Weak mm-hmm.

00:33:58: Yeah, and You can deal with this but you have to listen to your body or to your mind Or whatever too yourself.

00:34:07: yes

00:34:08: And I think this is something that we can learn.

00:34:10: Yes

00:34:11: This is something that I completely agree.

00:34:14: I consider it to be one of the things, and what I'm saying... That's because of multiple sparrows!

00:34:22: It's thanks for multiple spARROWS!

00:34:23: Because in my opinion, a tool can help me find a good balance.

00:34:33: For myself this is really easy as well since I know exactly where is the central ontology when I overdo it?

00:34:39: A lot of people, normal or healthy people don't have this experience.

00:34:44: They do not know what is happening and maybe they only need to drink some water Or go for a walk in the fresh air.

00:34:53: And no now I'm going sick but it's just stay your time and identify that you had a body.

00:35:01: Sometimes this is when, in our mind it's very how to say have a lot of opportunities to develop very nice things.

00:35:09: so on ideas And maybe we don't realize the.

00:35:14: Our mind can go very far and also very quickly but In contrast our body or its limited without a disability or a chronic illness.

00:35:29: So we are human virus, animals and as a biological unit is we have limitations And our body it's not going to give us all the energy.

00:35:39: I know what do you want?

00:35:40: To achieve with our mind, right now that We have so many opportunities That we see some media because we have internet and we have the artificial intelligence They are solving the problems very quickly.

00:35:52: We also think too about oh well It's also that we can't do although but no very limited, some extent as human beings.

00:36:02: And it's important that we can... and this is more or less something a kind of tip for people try to see what are your limitations?

00:36:10: So what are the things you have and then act accordingly because this is important.

00:36:17: so there' s something I don't like to talk about the importance of self-care and prioritizing well being, but it's very important because in that way when you start taking into account these things.

00:36:30: You are reclaiming your life.

00:36:32: And if you're starting to be conscious what is yours?

00:36:34: What can we do with this?

00:36:36: Maybe there will also be some important things for us as well.

00:36:40: But even though not everything works out so well... It'll still be difficult!

00:36:44: Especially academia quite dangerous working field because there are so many opportunities.

00:36:54: You can go to conferences all the time, you write articles and do this or that but in fact we have bodies with limitations Simply from the opportunity.

00:37:15: Yeah, yeah and so sometimes you have to think about is this single thing really so important for me that I will want do it?

00:37:26: or would be better say no perhaps next year whenever Never.

00:37:36: But what we are thinking right now, when were talking is really easy Sabine and I know exactly that it's realeasy to say yes well but at the moment you're facing with this decision.

00:37:47: its not so realy easy that we also have to take into consideration.

00:37:53: What I would suggest in this case is just try something like, maybe sometimes you are thinking a very short distance.

00:38:01: so what's going on for the next two or three months?

00:38:04: Yeah!

00:38:04: Maybe it's important In a long distance.

00:38:08: So what is going to happen in ten years?

00:38:10: How?

00:38:10: I wanted it been ten years and maybe It's not that you want it To be very sick or you want to end up being the hospital as i ended And was very lucky because then, I can continue having A good life.

00:38:21: but I know people That were different from some situations.

00:38:25: They don't attend what their body We're saying this disease for example Cancer or something Or problems with

00:38:34: heart

00:38:35: and they died.

00:38:36: So it's also possible.

00:38:37: Yeah, yes and I mean some years ago sometime after i finished my dissertation.

00:38:43: so its really uh... Some Years Ago!

00:38:45: I Also had a time where I was completely exhausted And I Was ill for two weeks or something like that?

00:38:52: It is not only For people who have chronic illness Or other disability but Its also for everybody.

00:38:58: Yes sometimes things are just too much Yeah, and you have to listen too.

00:39:04: To your body right?

00:39:06: So what is your advice for people who have a chronic illness and work or study at university?

00:39:12: Is there anything particular

00:39:14: I would like to put?

00:39:14: reformulate the question.

00:39:16: so yeah this is when i was thinking about that.

00:39:19: When I think About That I prefer to think What are You Going to Say Clara Ten Years ago?

00:39:24: So, because it's personal.

00:39:26: The thing that I'm going to say at my personal opinion and i don't want to be misunderstood Yeah And I prefer what I would say Clara ten years ago.

00:39:35: so right now we'll say okay clara take it easy.

00:39:39: really Take it easy Because you and your disease need time.

00:39:44: Give your body and mind Time To cope with this new reality.

00:39:49: Trust your medical team.

00:39:50: It is very important.

00:39:51: You need to trust the medical team because if you have a chronic illness, you are going to meet these people at least twice or three times per year and If you're not in good relations with them... ...if your having many doubts about what they say to you as other physicians nothing will work.

00:40:09: so please Trust Your Medical Team!

00:40:12: And the first, give treatment a chance.

00:40:15: When you are having a routine taking your medicines follow guidance.

00:40:19: You can see improvement Identify limitations and accordingly Because they're going to give you freedom More time more energy and resources to be successful And think that it is very important to prioritize in self-care and well being because if not good things will become hard.

00:40:42: Okay, dear Clara.

00:40:43: Thank you so much for sharing your experiences and I'm so glad that you're part of the BGHS team!

00:40:49: Ah

00:40:50: thank you Sabine.

00:40:50: it was also a pleasure to share in this part of my life with the audience And i hope these kind of experience can move something into

00:41:00: someone's mind.

00:41:05: To me, she made very clear that it's hard to live with a chronic illness but is not the end of this world.

00:41:11: If you're facing such situation try and find support – medical support… support your family & friends...but also at work!

00:41:19: And don't give up!

00:41:20: Find out what YOU need for good life …and I think thats advice from all of us.

00:41:28: If you have any questions, comments or suggestions for future topics send us an email at bghsatuni-bielefeldt.de.

00:41:42: Thank You For Tuning In and until next time Optimism!

00:41:46: Have faith in yourself And make the best

00:41:48: of the chances

00:41:49: & challenges on your academic journey.